(Sorry about the awful grainy photo, it was a 4am feed, but I love it as it captures those first weeks!)
- Life is going to change. A lot. Accept that for the first 6 months you probably won’t be able to fit in work, a pair of babies and golf/pub/rugby (that’s just my list..) The sacrifice is worth it of course.
- Do always take her a hot drink and biscuit whenever you can. A tiny thing but it says “I know you don’t always get time for this, let me help.” She will really appreciate it.
- Get involved, don’t wait for her to ask for help. These little blighters belong to you to. If you don’t know how to do something, ask to be shown.
- Arrange extra help without her having to organise it. Could your parents cook some meals? Could you pay someone so do some cleaning? All of these things will really make life run a little bit more smoothly when every moment seems to be taken up with feeding babies.
- Get up for the night feeds with her (if/when you’re bottle feeding). I know you probably have to go to work, but get some extra kip during the evening hours. On her own those night feeds are lonely and it will really mean a lot to her to have you take part. I really think that doing this gave me a great bond with them as babies too. It really helped me to be involved.
- Remember that your partner has probably been at home, with no adult conversation, 24 hours a day. Do not come home and tell her that you’re tired or don’t want to chat. Just don’t. It doesn’t end well.
- On that note, you’ll both be knackered and overwhelmed, be kind to each other. Cut each other some slack. Remember that she has raging hormones too (but DO NOT ever point that out to her). Just, be gentle. Your relationship will thank you in the long run.
- Keep laughing together. It if incredibly hard work sometimes and being able to laugh when you’re covered in poop or similar will help get you through it.
- Do not take hilarious photos of your wife breastfeeding two babies, whilst not looking her best. This does not go down well it turns out.
- When they are finally in bed, asleep, take time to both have a glass of wine and say well done to each other for making two babies and surviving.
The first 6 months are full on, but you know what, we survived and I think we have a better relationship for it. We’re an ace team and we will never forget that period of time (as much as we try). Only joking. It’s all so totally worth it.
Marks and Spencer commissioned us to write this post to celebrate the launch of the gorgeous new baby section of their website. Pop over and have a look here: Marks and Spencer Baby